Sleepy thoughts...

Sleepy Thoughts
© Meesa Caudill


Echos of memories
thunder through my head-
lyrics of sad songs
fill my thoughts in this bed.
These lonely, empty rooms
occupied only with ghosts from the past-
they're the only company I keep,
the only relationships that last.
Haunted always by yesterday,
full of fear of tomorrow-
pillows damp with tears,
soaked in all my sorrows.
Prayers answered strangely
but never how they were prayed-
I'll go on reminding myself
that God works in His own way.
So for now the sad songs keep playing
as I lie alone in bed,
praying for the echos to be silenced
and for the thunder to stop in my head.

Run Away

Run Away
© Meesa Caudill


Run away, little girl,
run from your fears.
Run from your past,
run from your tears.
Run from the pain
that rips at your soul,
run from the regrets
of mistakes long ago.
Run away from love
so your heart won't break.
Run away from committment-
if you don't give, they can't take.
Run away from God-
He's taken so much from you.
Run away from the demons
that always show through.
Run away from everyone
that tries to get too close.
Run away from the ones
that love you the most.
Run away from it all,
keep running forward.

But stop to ask yourself-
what are you running toward?

Please Wake Me

I would love to write a poem,
a prose, a story, a verse...
about this nightmare I can't awake from,
about all the things that hurt.

I think I fell asleep a few years ago
and since then have gone through hell.
Someone wake me from this nightmare!
Someone tell me it's not real!

When I wake up my life will be back,
my youth, my family, everything I had.
I'll realize it was all just all a bad dream,
I'll wake up and see my dad.

He'll be smiling at me sober,
sitting beside me holding my hand.
He'll wipe my brow and say "good morning sissy"
you were in a far away land.

You tossed and turned during most of your sleep
and cried a lot of tears.
But daddy's here, it's okay baby-
there's nothing left to fear."

When I wake up I'll be in my room,
I'm still young, still just sixteen.
The only cares I have in this world
are trying to follow my dreams.

When I wake up mom will be cooking,
granny will be in the living room.
Dad will have finished working on the car
and Bobbie will be coming over soon.

I'll wake up and get ready for work
at the fast food place in the mall.
I'll go to work, then come home where it's warm,
give my boyfriend a call.

I'll go to bed again only to wake up
to have coffee in the morning with dad.
I'll make breakfast for granny (she loves turkey bacon)
and I'll no longer be sad.

But the problem is, I am awake.
I'm damn near 30 years old.
Granny's long gone, dad's voice no more-
all the coffee has long since turned cold.

Tears are still falling, yet I'm not asleep.
This is a nightmare from which I'll never wake.
Please dear Lord, give me strength to get through this
it's all the pain I can take.