If You're Not Pissed Off

© Meesa Caudill


Well I hate to admit but I'm getting scared
every time I see the news.
Can't go to school, ride a bus,or watch a movie
without someone shooting at you.
And now the politicians and brainwashed sheeple
are trying to take away our guns.
They don't want us fighting back,
and they know Americans are too fat to run.
With every click of the internet
and on the daily news
we get fed a bunch of bull
and twisted, tainted views.
It's really starting to piss me off
that they want to control me and you.

Land of the free is what we've been told-
free to speak, worship, & get a piece of the pie.
But we can't speak, no praying in public,
it's all a bunch of lies.
Now we're all broke, we're stressed out and scared-
we're a country full of tension.
If you're not pissed off enough to want a change
then you're not paying enough attention!

Political plans no one understands,
a president famous because of his race.
Lost jobs, lost freedoms, no money, no hope-
we've become such a disgrace.
As a whole we just sit back and watch-
"it's ok as long as it's not happening to me."
We're so desensitized and immune
to the things going on across the street.
Start paying attention or one day you'll wake
to the government living in your home.
Taking away our basic rights,
making you bow to a throne.

Land of the free is what we've been told-
free to speak, worship, & get a piece of the pie.
But we can't speak, no praying in public,
it's all a bunch of lies.
Now we're all broke, we're stressed out and scared-
we're a country full of tension.
If you're not pissed off enough to want a change
then you're not paying enough attention!

Our soldiers are dying every day,
their last breaths taken on foreign soil.
Is it really a war against terrorism?
Or are they dying because of oil?
It's been happening now for so long
it seems most Americans have forgotten
about our men and women sacrificed
and flown home in flag draped coffins.
The ones who've survived are damaged
on the inside, out, or both.
They get lost in the cracks of the system
because they took that oath.
"Support and defend the Constitution of the United States
against all enemies, foreign and domestic."
It's starting to look like they need to fight
our government that thinks they're majestic.

Land of the free is what we've been told-
free to speak, worship, & get a piece of the pie.
But we can't speak, no praying in public,
it's all a bunch of lies.
Now we're all broke, we're stressed out and scared-
we're a country full of tension.
If you're not pissed off enough to want a change
then you're not paying enough attention!

It Could Happen To Anyone

It Could Happen to Anyone
© Meesa Caudill


I used to love my big little city, but now Lexington drains my soul. *sigh*

Every day I watch them, the homeless, as they walk past my windows at work, or as I pass them in my car while I'm on my lunch. Every day I see their worn faces, showing no trace of hope, as they limp up Second Street. As I watch them, I can't help but wonder who they used to be. The broken men I see wandering the streets now are someone's sons, brothers. Some of them are someone's dad, someone's uncle, someone's best friend. I often wonder what their story is, how they ended up in this place in their lives. Yes, quite often drug addiction or alcoholism is to blame- but what led them to that, even? A lot of them are veterans who get lost in the ridiculous system that is the "VA".

How many of you reading this automatically judge these men when you roll past them in your car? How many of you assume that if you give him a few dollars he'll go get a beer? How many of you assume that he's there because he's a loser/criminal/druggie and therefore deserves the misery? Have you ever truly LOOKED at some of them and wondered where their paths were lost and how they ended up on a gravel road of despair?

It could happen to any one of us.

Do me a favor and think about this, in depth, for just a few minutes. Allow me take you to another dimension where your world is the one flipped upside down... I'll even give you a few scenarios just to be sure you "get it".

You're a 30 year old man who has done hard, manual labor since you were old enough to work. You started out mowing lawns and working on cars in your spare time to working a full time job in the construction industry- building houses, roofing, painting, etc. Or you've worked in a factory since you were 18 years old and time is catching up with you. One day you wake up and realize you can barely move because your back is out. You go to the doctor and walk out with a prescription of pain pills and, because you cannot function because of the pain, you take them as prescribed. A 2 week prescription of pain pills and muscle relaxers isn't going to cut it- this is a permanent back injury- so you're on this medication for months. After a few months you realize the prescribed dosed just isn't cutting it anymore, you've gotten immune, so you have to take more and the doc won't prescribe you anything else. You need to be pain free in order to work to keep a roof over your head and to feed you and your family. So you start buying them from the street. Next thing you know, you're addicted. All because you were hurt. Now, your wife is leaving you because she can't take the lying about the addiction, the lying about where all your money is going, and being evicted and losing electricity because all your money goes to the pain pills. Next, you've been evicted- you're alone, you have no money because most of it goes to your pills to kill the pain, and now you have nowhere to go. You're homeless. You're a good, hardworking man but life dealt you a shitty hand.

OR

You're a hard working divorced woman, two children, and a stable, decent paying job. One morning you go into work and are called in to your boss's office for him to tell you that due to budget cuts they have to let you go. You've had no warning. Your parents can't help you because they are either broke or already passed on, your friends have their own problems and can't help you, and the father of your children does his legal minimum to help. Because of the economy, jobs are few and far between and because of your childcare schedule you can't just take any job offered because you have no sitter. You made good money at your job but unemployment doesn't cut it on paying rent, bills, childcare, and groceries. You can't get assistance because even on unemployment you "make too much money". Rent is due and so are all the utilities. Your utilities get turned off. You get an eviction notice on your door telling you that you have 14 days to move. In two weeks you and your children are now homeless with nowhere to go. You're a good, hardworking woman but life dealt you a shitty hand.

OR

You're a 25 year old man fresh home from Afghanistan. You were a normal, healthy teenage boy when you decided to join the military. Now you're aged before your time, physically disabled from the shrapnel in your leg, and you're suffering from PTSD. Dealing with the general public causes you anxiety, you can't physically do hard, manual labor and you don't have a degree or experience in anything other than military- so finding a job that pays more than minimum wage isn't easy. Your PTSD causes you to have night terrors which leaves you exhausted and unable to wake up on time for work, so any job you do find that you're able to do fires you because of excessive tardiness. You are on medication for your PTSD, you get lost in the cracks of the "VA", and you don't have the money to live in your own place. No family or friends that are able to help you out- you end up homeless. You're a good, hardworking soldier who fought for this country but life dealt you a shitty hand.

Yes, I know some of you will argue until you're blue in the face about how you think all homeless people are trash and why they deserve what they've got- but the above scenarios could happen to any of you. It happens every day, and now more often than you think.

http://www.nationalhomeless.org/publications/facts/Whois.pdf

According to: http://www.kyhousing.org/KICH/Content.aspx?id=2861&terms=homeless

"During the 2010 count, which took place on January 28, 6,623 homeless individuals were identified. The 2009 count located 5,999 homeless individuals, although a major ice and snow storm that hit the state around the same time of the count altered plans and prohibited efforts for the count.

• 1,460 homeless respondents were severely mentally ill.
• 2,032 homeless respondents were chronic substance abusers.
• 1,071 homeless respondents were victims of domestic violence.
• 564 homeless respondents were veterans.
• 15 percent of homeless individuals were completely without shelter across the state on the day of the count."

A lot of you look at these men and see trash. You see something you could never relate to. I look at these people and see wasted potential, faded dreams, and broken souls.

And that, my friends, is what breaks my heart.

Seeing In the Dark

Here's another brainstorm from a phrase that Jason Sheffield had given me a few months back when I asked for writing ideas.The phrases to start with were:

The key phrases:
* Looking forward to the past
* Hitchhiking in a ghost town
* Dont make me fall in love
* Six feet under but climbing
* I'm not a sex toy
* Seeing in the dark

(Just to make sure no one gets confused- this is not a current life experience. Just a writing bug! lol!)

Soooo.... here's:

Seeing In The Dark
© Meesa Caudill 


I lie awake and hear you breathing
mumbling something in your sleep-
I wonder what you're dreaming
and about the secrets that you keep.
I roll over and kiss your face
and hear you whisper a name...
it's not me you're calling out to-
and I've only got myself to blame.

All these years I've been blind,
not seeing what you need.
All these years you've given your all
and I can't give you any of me.
All these years you wanted a flame
and we didn't even have a spark-
it's taken all this time for me
to start seeing in the dark.

I was so arrogant to believe
you wouldn't find someone new.
Someone who could give their all-
give everything to you.
I underestimated your value,
didn't give you what you deserve-
and it took lying here in the dark
to see how much you're worth.

All these years you wanted a flame
and we didn't even have a spark-
it's taken all this time for me
to start seeing in the dark.

Time Flies

Time Flies
© Meesa Caudill


Momma always told me
times flies after 21...
looking back now she was oh so right-
where has all the time gone?
It seems like only yesterday
I was 8 years old
sittin' on my daddy's knee
hearing the stories he told.
Where did sweet sixteen go?
Learning to drive a car.
Turning 18, moving out on my own,
trying to follow my heart.

Time sure does fly when you're having fun
and even when times are hard.
Throughout the years you laugh and cry
and life takes a toll on your heart.
But oh, my child, life sure is worth it
when the memories make you smile.
Even looking back on all the tears,
it was worth it all the while.

Turning 21 and spreading my wings,
still just a kid in a grown-up world.
The partying, bars, and neon lights
put my head in a whirl.
Settling down, friends having babies,
losing love and family...
but no matter what, keeping my head held high
through pain and tragedy.
I reminisce on all those years,
and the little girl on my daddy's knee...
What would my 8-year-old self
think of the 33 year old me?

Add caption

Where the Grass Grows on Tears - Survivor of Suicide

Where the Grass Grows on Tears
© Meesa Caudill


We talk to stone and spill our hearts,
not knowing whether we're heard.
Many regrets, unspoken goodbyes,
lives left behind filled with hurt.
Flowers and trinkets and tokens of love
placed with care on the ground.
Praying that one day our loved ones can rise
and see that we still come around.
We cringe on anniversaries,
flashbacks of moments frozen in our minds-
the last words they spoke echo in our brains,
the pain never erased with time.
Photos make us smile, but also make us cry-
videos tear us apart.
Wishing we could just touch their skin,
hear their voice, reanimate their heart.
But instead we're left here wondering
about the what if's, how's, and whys.
Wishing we could have just one more day
to convince them to save their own lives.
No chance for goodbye, no more "I love you's",
just lots of anger and pain through the years.
You left us here to sleep for eternity
in the land where the grass grows on tears.

©Meesa Caudill

Don't Go Fallin' For A Fallen Angel

Don't Go Fallin' for a Fallen Angel
© Meesa Caudill


I wish I was the perfect angel
that you see in your dreams
but sadly, my halo's a little rusted
and there's mud on my broken wings.
I get frisky when the horns appear,
you can tell by the smirk on my face.
I can go from good to bad in a second,
that's why I fell from grace.

So don't go fallin' for a fallen angel-
I don't want to pierce your heart with my horns.
Even the most delicate rose
can hurt you with it's thorns.
Don't let my rusty halo fool you
into thinking I'm good as gold-
I'm soft as heaven to be next to
but I'm hard as hell to hold.

I'll torment you with desire
and put you under my spell-
but don't try to hold too tightly
cause I'll drag you straight through hell.
I leave a trail of tears in my path,
shattered hearts I leave behind.
I can be as sweet as sugar
or I can make you lose your mind.

So don't go fallin' for a fallen angel-
I don't want to pierce your heart with my horns.
Even the most delicate rose
can hurt you with it's thorns.
Don't let my rusty halo fool you
into thinking I'm good as gold-
I'm soft as heaven to be next to
but I'm hard as hell to hold.

Don't Make Me Fall In Love (A writing experiment...)

Time to clear the brain again! I was doing good on the writing each night for a few days but I slipped again. I just mixed up a cake and have it in the oven for 40 minutes, so I'm gonna take this time to spill out some thoughts in font. My buddy Jason Sheffield gave me a few key phrases to build on and so I think I'm gonna experiment with that. I'm gonna try to throw a few in, hopefully all if my brain will let me! Let's see where it takes me! (Again, thanks Jason!)

The key phrases:
* Looking forward to the past
* Hitchhiking in a ghost town
* Dont make me fall in love
* Six feet under but climbing
* I'm not a sex toy
* Seeing in the dark

(okay, after a few minutes of deliberating, I don't believe I can do it with all of them at once. BUT I am going to allow the ideas to sink in and see what I come up with!)


Don't Make Me Fall In Love
© Meesa Caudill


Don't look at me
as if
I'm the only one in the room
if,
in your peripherals,
you're checking out
that girls
ass.
Don't speak to me
in that soft tone,
telling me your
secrets,
dreams,
and fears
if all you're doing
is trying
to convince me
to
fuck you.
Don't make me laugh
by being
charming
and witty
if the joke turns out
to be
on me.
Don't caress my skin
as if it's made of
priceless silk
if your only intentions
are to caress me
into
false intimacy.
Don't tell me I'm beautiful
and that I'm perfect
in your eyes
if you find perfection
in everything
with
tits.
Don't tell me that
you love me if,
in reality,
the only love
you have ever felt
is for
yourself.
Don't convince me
that I'm the only object
of your desires
if you get hard
at the
thought
of one of my
best friends
naked.
Don't fool me
into believing
that you're the perfect man
when my mind
(when logical)
knows there
is no such thing.
Don't make me
fall
in love
with
you.

Dreams of Alabama

Dreams of Alabama
© Meesa Caudill

It's been a long time since she's seen him-
since she wanted so badly for him to stay-
she lets her mind drift back a few years
to that warm, breezy night in May.
He was the only one she could see
in the bar's soft neon glow,
the world disappeared, no one else existed-
and for the night time moved so slow.
Such a short time she spent with him
but it made her want forever-
she never believed in love at first sight
until their precious time together.

She dreamed of Alabama starry nights
while lying in his embrace.
For just one night she imagined her life
surrounded by Southern grace.
Now her mind drifts off to Alabama-
but her memories have begun to fade,
life could have been so perfect
if her Alabama would have stayed.

It's been years since she's seen his face
and his dark chocolate brown eyes.
She gets a message that hes looking for her
and she begins to feel the butterflies.
The years apart have made her a cynic
so she puts the butterflies to rest,
but she can't stop the longing in her soul
and that aching in her chest.
She finds herself getting lost in daydreams,
trying to remember his dimpled grin.
Her thoughts get lost in Alabama
and she imagines what could have been.

She dreams of Alabama starry nights
and again lying in his embrace.
For just one more night she'll imagine her life
surrounded by Southern grace.
Now her mind drifts off to Alabama-
but her memories have begun to fade,
life could have been so perfect
if her Alabama would have stayed.

Sleepy thoughts...

Sleepy Thoughts
© Meesa Caudill


Echos of memories
thunder through my head-
lyrics of sad songs
fill my thoughts in this bed.
These lonely, empty rooms
occupied only with ghosts from the past-
they're the only company I keep,
the only relationships that last.
Haunted always by yesterday,
full of fear of tomorrow-
pillows damp with tears,
soaked in all my sorrows.
Prayers answered strangely
but never how they were prayed-
I'll go on reminding myself
that God works in His own way.
So for now the sad songs keep playing
as I lie alone in bed,
praying for the echos to be silenced
and for the thunder to stop in my head.

Leave some love already!

I get quite a few visits but I never get any comments! Come on, folks! Show me some love! (Or hate!) Either way, let me know what you're reading and your thoughts on it! Tell me how ya found me! 

Much love!

Meesa