Hard to Handle

Sometimes I have a bad temper,
and an attitude to match.
Sometimes I get moody
and I seem a little detached.
Sometimes I just want to cry
because I get so overwhelmed,
and I always need to be reassured,
to be loved, to be held.

Sometimes I get bossy
when things don't go my way.
Sometimes I can be a diva
when I've had a long, tough day.
Sometimes I get too motherly
with the people I care about the most-
and I get so mad when people hurt
the ones I hold so close.

So don't tell me you love me
if I'm too much for you to handle.
Don't tell me you love me
if your love flickers out like a candle.
Don't tell me you love me
if your love casually comes and goes.
I'm hard to love but I'm worth it-
and I need a love that grows.

Sometimes I get bitchy
when my hormones are out of whack.
Sometimes I whine like a child
when I've done something to hurt my back.
Sometimes I get disappointed
because my life isn't what I thought it'd be,
and I need my man to lift me up
when I'm not at the best that I can be.

Sometimes I get a little too wild
when I go party with my friends.
Sometimes I stay out too late
and you'll wonder where I've been.
Sometimes I act too young for my age
but I see no good reason to grow old.
And I need someone to run wild with me,
that will never let our fire go cold.

So don't tell me you love me
when you see that I'm a little rough.
Don't tell me you love me
and then decide you're not man enough.
Don't tell me you love me
if you can't handle me at my worst.
I'm hard to love but I'm worth it,
and I'm sick of getting hurt.

Sometimes I get so bored with life
and my gypsy side wants to run.
Sometimes I long for the family life,
to grow roots with a special someone.
Sometimes I feel so hopeless
because I get a little lost in my own mind.
Sometimes I can't see the bright side
because my faith has gone blind.

Sometimes I dream of getting married again,
and having children of my own.
Sometimes I long for the American dream-
the white picket fence, the home.
Sometimes I lose sight of it all
and want to stay in bed for days.
I'll hate my jobs and the town I'm in
and walk around in a haze.

So don't tell me you love me
if you think I've become a burden.
Don't tell me you love me
if you just add to my hurtin'.
Don't tell me you love me
if it's just a downright lie,
I'm hard to love but I'm worth it
and need a man that won't make me cry.

Seeing In the Dark

Here's another brainstorm from a phrase that Jason Sheffield had given me a few months back when I asked for writing ideas.The phrases to start with were:

The key phrases:
* Looking forward to the past
* Hitchhiking in a ghost town
* Dont make me fall in love
* Six feet under but climbing
* I'm not a sex toy
* Seeing in the dark

(Just to make sure no one gets confused- this is not a current life experience. Just a writing bug! lol!)

Soooo.... here's:

Seeing In The Dark
© Meesa Caudill 


I lie awake and hear you breathing
mumbling something in your sleep-
I wonder what you're dreaming
and about the secrets that you keep.
I roll over and kiss your face
and hear you whisper a name...
it's not me you're calling out to-
and I've only got myself to blame.

All these years I've been blind,
not seeing what you need.
All these years you've given your all
and I can't give you any of me.
All these years you wanted a flame
and we didn't even have a spark-
it's taken all this time for me
to start seeing in the dark.

I was so arrogant to believe
you wouldn't find someone new.
Someone who could give their all-
give everything to you.
I underestimated your value,
didn't give you what you deserve-
and it took lying here in the dark
to see how much you're worth.

All these years you wanted a flame
and we didn't even have a spark-
it's taken all this time for me
to start seeing in the dark.

Untitled (Writer's Block)

Don't look down upon me with disdain-
judgmental, cold eyes of steel...
seeking the weaknesses in my soul-
as if you're the devil waiting to make a deal.

Don't sit on your throne of contemptuous rage
belittling me for my faults...
knowing my unhappiness with myself-
you see the wounds and pour the salt.

Don't underestimate my intelligence
with your concealed insults and abuse.
I've toughened up over the years-
no longer breaking, I barely bruise.